Relaxation Techniques for Managing Stress and Anxiety: A Practical Guide for Physical, People and Work-Related Stress
Are you managing a heavy workload, double-hatting or even triple-hatting, sitting in front of the computer for long periods of time, working with eccentric colleagues and clients, and/or inundated with family commitments? Have you ever found yourself preparing for a big presentation and a neighbor throws a party next door waking your kids in the middle of the night?
Stress as we know it comes at us in different shapes and sizes. It can be mental, physical, or emotional. It can be trivial like water drops from a loose facet or it could be traumatizing events like divorce, job loss or bankruptcy. Even the lack of stimuli i.e. boredom or the mention of the word stress can be stressful. It can make us restless, insomniatic, and break us down emotionally. Physically, we can lose or gain weight, start getting heart palpitations and excruciating headaches.
Being a search consultant, writer, husband, and father of two, I’ve experienced a lot of the above. I’ve spoken with many friends, co-workers, and professionals working at fast-paced multinationals on their experiences coping with the ever-increasing demand on their life to get their advice. I’ve learned that by identifying stress factors and tackling them practically using a balance of tactic and strategy, technological tools and a social support system we all can reach a state of Zen — healthy in mind, body, and spirit. The journey was not easy, but I now feel like I have a super power in being able to turn stress into positive energy that drives me to be better than yesterday.
Identifying the Stress Factors
Contrary to popular belief, you can’t run away from stress. Some people dread working for their boss, so they find another job only to find themselves in a similar situation. Others take vacations or play video games to escape their problems only to find things worse upon their return. These procrastination techniques are band aid solutions that don’t resolve the real issue.
That’s why the first step of managing stress is to reflect and recognize the cause(s) of stress. To do this use an app or journal to note all the details whenever you’re feeling stressed. Notice when your stomach churns and your heart rate or respiration increase. By writing down how it feels and what’s happening with your body you can try to notice a pattern whether a time of day, event, or person causes most of the frustration and irritation. Only when the stress factors have been identified we can try to understand why it causes us discomfort and allow us to think of how to mitigate or eliminate it.
Physical Stress
Most of us associate stress with emotional stress and don’t consider the link to our physical health and wellbeing. For parents out there, you know that babies are grumpiest when they are hungry or sleepy. There’s good reason for that.
Sleep — it’s important to get a full 7–9 hours of quality sleep every night. If you fall asleep right when you lay down or if you snooze, then the chances are you’re not getting enough sleep. Without the right sleep you feel tired and more irritable decreasing your stress tolerance. The trick here is to have a proper sleep environment which includes a dark room (blackout curtains or eye mask), silence (live away from major streets, sound proof walls or use ear plugs), and moderate temperature (air conditioning, heating, the right amount of clothing). You want to make sure you have the right mattress and pillow fitted to your body type. We spend a third of our lives sleeping so it’s important to invest in having the right equipment and environment to ensure we have quality sleep.
Diet — eating too much causes indigestion and eating too spicy, salty, oily food can upset your stomach. A balanced diet of meat, produce and fiber is best. Do not drink too much coffee because the kick will wear off making you feel worse than you started. Alcohol is also dangerous and the hangover the next day can be painful.
Eyes — after spending many hours in front of the computer our eyes get sore. Try limiting the number of hours per day in front of the monitor but if you can’t invest in a blue light cutting monitor or glasses. I thought it was a gimmick at first until I bought my first pair and it’s greatly improved my endurance in front of the monitor. If you’re on a tight budget then try eye exercises and schedule breaks for your eyes. I’ve found eye drops made of artificial tears to work extremely well. They don’t sting and leave an after taste in your month either.
Neck/Back — extended use of laptops and smart phones can be very bad for your neck and back. It’s recommended you buy a monitor to connect to your laptop and set it at eye level so you’re not tilting your head forward reducing the force on your neck. Sitting-standing desks are great, but I find it’s easier to find an extremely comfortable chair instead. After spending a year looking at chairs in every furniture store in the area I found Herman Miller’s Sayl Chair to be the best for me. We spend a third of our time sleeping and another third of our time working sitting in a chair so it’s worth the investment.
In the morning, evening or during the afternoon I would take a break to do some yoga or stretches. This is my favorite video for the back as it’s super easy to do with no equipment and it only takes 20 minutes. It’s immensely helpful and I always feel great after completing it.
Work Stress
We want to feel valued and when we’re working hard we feel especially so. We feel the company depends on us, we’re indispensable and that we’re adding great value to society. This maybe true but it’s still not worth sacrificing your health over. The overwhelming feeling of not getting something done cuts into our sleep which will affect the next day’s and following days’ performance creating a vicious cycle. We always need to keep an eye on balancing work-life.
Learn to say ‘no’ — say ‘no’ whenever you have too much work on. If your company and colleagues respect your health in anyways they will understand. Just make sure to provide them with some context so they know you’re not neglecting your responsibilities. Alternatively, you can try delegating. You might not be in a senior role but that doesn’t mean you can’t still delegate by ask a peer to help you with a project instead of taking it on all by yourself.
Prioritize — prioritize means doing what’s most important first and leaving minor tasks to later. Learn to be efficient as possible with daily routines and even cut corners if you must. Play with iPhone apps, chatbots and even AI platforms to see if processes can be approved. Remember Pareto’s 80/20 Rule. 80% of the results comes from 20% of the effort. By focusing on the 20% you’ll be more impactful and you can get more done with less effort.
Family & Friends Stress
We love our family and friends but they too can be a source of stress. Spending so much time with them it’s natural for there to be some tension.
With your significant spouse it’s important to talk about each other’s stress factors and discuss how they can be reduced. Maybe consider forwarding this article to create a baseline understanding.
Personally, I like to think my wife’s happiness is my happiness, and her stress my stress. Through our conversations together we identified that rearing kids and the limited space we had at the time were going to be pain points. As such, and after much deliberation, we decided to build a house near the in-laws. It was a 5-minute walk down hill to their place which meant that they would be able to help support taking care of the kids. A house in the suburbs of Yokohama is considerably cheaper to own as there are no condo or parking fees. That’s not to mention the extra space for the kids to run and for my wife to store all her belongings. In addition to this, my job allows me to work virtually so I can take care of the kids in the morning and evenings giving my wife a short break. All in all, things haven’t worked well because we took time in the beginning to design our lifestyle.
Speaking of kids, we’ve tried every trick in the book. Generally, we try to be as active as possible taking them out to the zoo, aquarium, parks, shopping, and to their friend’s. When staying in we have toys, games, coloring books, books, cars (plastic ones-we don’t let them drive real ones yet), puzzles, and basically anything you can find in a local Toys R Us. Of course, when that’s not enough we have to resort to YouTube, snacks, juice, ice cream and their favorite candies but we try to limit that as much as we can. If all else fails, I tend to take them for a walk and they usually calm down. When nothing works and you begin to feel the stress bubbling up then it’s time to ask your spouse nicely to take over for a while.
Boss Stress
The worse managers are those that micromanage, are super detailed oriented, hypocritical (not detailed in their own work), and are incivil. First thing first, you must stay calm. What you must understand is that you’ll always have a boss and that running away won’t help you solve the problem in the long run as your next boss can be even worse. Take a breath and try to understand your boss’s goals, expectation of you and your team, their strengths and weaknesses, and the personality types they get or don’t get along with. With that information try to contribute by using your strengths to cover the weaknesses of your manager. Once they see value in you their attitude will often change. By learning why they work with some people better than others you can adapt a style that’s more compatible. Lastly, if you’re enjoying everything else at the company, in particularly the culture, stay with it as bosses change and you might even be tapped to the be their replacement.
If, however, after doing the stress identifier exercise above and you notice that your boss shows up time and time again as the main culprit of your stress then it might just be time to fire them by moving on.
Traumatic Event
There are things in the world outside our control. Divorce, job loss, or death of a loved one can blind side us at times. Don’t bury the emotions as it’ll only prolong the suffering. Instead, let it all out and get the support of your friends and family. Talk it through the reason why you feel the way you feel and listen to ideas on how to get over it. Speak with people that have gone through similar situation for hints. There’s no need to follow others advice to the tee but just talking it through will help with the healing process.
Fighting Boredom
With the sheer amount of information online and on the social media networks we’re often over stimulated. Control the amount of smart phone use and at a minimal refrain for looking at the phone one hour before and after sleep. That will allow your brain to gently startup and shutdown.
On the flip side, there are many people that are bored and completely disengaged with work. According to a Gallup poll in 2015 68 percent of employees in the US are disengaged. Being in the same job for more than five years it becomes mundane and it could be worse if you’re working in a traditional industry with little change. This is an opportune time to pursue your hobbies and things you’re passionate about like writing, music, or sports. If that doesn’t work and you feel your career has plateaued within your company then it could be a sign to look at external opportunities.
Society as a whole demonises stress but what we must remember that we might not have survived all of the world’s dangers without it. Our goal should not be to hold stress back (because it’ll almost always boil back up) but rather to understand it, harness it, and use it to power our way through whatever obstacle we might be facing.
As a parting gift I leave you a list of tools, ideas and activities to help you on your journey of reaching a zen state of healthy mind, body, and spirit. Until next time..
Apps & Technology
- Lakeside Campfire with Relaxing Nature Night Sounds (HD)
- Orisinal — simple games that are funny to play with relaxing BGM
- Keep Calm and Carry On Wallpaper
Mentality Shift
- Don’t let the small stuff bother you
- Stay positive and make friends with positive people
- Simply your life by eliminating the unnecessary
- Practice gratitude and the art of giving
- Schedule time to reflect in silence
Relaxing Activities
- Take a walk
- Breathing exercise
- Play sports
- Take a vacation/travel
- Read a book
- Listen to music
- Talk to friends and family
- Stay away from stressful people
